July | 2014 | Compassion Through Thoughts!

Emotions are reaction to behavior. People respond in different ways to various situations. While stuck in traffic, feeling unwell, during discussions, disagreements and discords we observe an extreme demonstration of rage.Anger is the emotion which outbursts as active volcanoes from within in the times of commotion and chaos nowadays.When we cannot channelize it into a positive medium of expression, we are left with anger only.In short, anger is a result of our shortcomings – inefficiency to have a control over our feelings and an extreme reaction to impatience.

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I must accept that i am also friends with this denounced emotion.The bucket of anger is not always full inside me.But incidents, actions, attitudes and dealings of the people who surround me, or whom i meet drops a few ounces of resentment inside the bucket off and on.Also the world sometimes feels so harsh, insane, numb and unfair that i feel dejected and frustrated. Frustration again gives rise to the levels of anger inside.But my confession alone is not enough. Deep down i know that feelings of anger are an offense, an offense towards human behavior, human emotions, kindness and above all compassion.After the rage is over, only embarrassment, and guilt is what’s the consequence. Anger gives rise to many other undesirable emotions, like bitterness, impoliteness, insensitivity, spitefulness, cruelty, even hatred! Therefore it is extremely important to keep our temperaments in check. If i sit back and analyze the reasons for the fuming enraged group of ours, i reach the following conclusions:

*Not everyone welcomes criticism!

*Taking out someone else’s frustrations on someone else – Very common attitude!Most people aggressive in public have others to blame.

*Too many problems, confusions, disturbances already going on in life – We should learn the art of getting a hold of our lives, removing unnecessary clatter of problems.

*Too much expectations especially from others – Expectations are mostly unreasonable.We can never access the extend of others devotion, sacrifices and dedication.

*Dissatisfaction, defeat in some phase of life – Facing setbacks in some point in life is everyone’s hallmark.People blame the world for their failures and try to get even with out-pour of anger.

* High Fat and Carbs diet which raises blood pressure, cholesterol and insulin levels, causing health conditions and anger as a result.

*Facing similar conducts in life from others – Tit for tat is NOT the approach especially if others are not responsible or aware of your miseries.

*Lower irritability thresholds – We can’t help it, but it’s not other’s fault to bear either!

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*Self – judgmental approach – Don’t be too harsh on yourself ! *Selfish, mean attitudes – All of us have a ‘me’ or ‘I’ to satisfy.But not at the cost of others feelings and emotions.

*A result of pain – People already going through emotional pain are unable to control themselves and as a result unintentionally inflict others with emotional trauma.

*Complexes – They are quite complex actually, take years to develop and effort to eradicate.

*Impatience – When people consider being patient an impossible task and let the wild horses of crude negative emotions on the loose, impatience results.

*Haste – Common issue with every other.Ill-planning and mis-managements are under covers of haste.

Anger management is not an easy thing, and i guess many of you would believe if i say it is equally tough in comparison to losing tons of fat!But tough things also eventually are conquered, the only investment is time.It’s takes more time to reach the tallest of summits.So, here’s what i think can help as most of it i have learnt from experience.The methods to get rid of outbursts of temper or aggression include:

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*Take deep breaths – believe me it literally helps! It lowers your blood pressure, relieves your nerves and brightens up your mood.

*Stop finding faults in others – If you only focus the good in people, there’s no reason to boil your brains!

*Keep reality checks on expectations – The less you expect from others, the more you are satisfied…

*Smile when others are irritating you – When people press the escalator to your temper, give them a break with your humor 🙂

*Count backwards! – Granny’s told us to follow this old trick.Works!

*When ur mad, listen to music – It really calms you down!

*Do something else meanwhile your brain is about to explode – Pick a good book, read comics, jokes, comedy programmes….

*Surround yourself with people who understand you – They will help you pull out the electric cord of irritation and anger, you can share your feelings with them instead of fuming….

*Remember pleasant moments – Like childhood memories, any pleasant place you visited on a vacation….

*Exercise! –

*Watch what you eat and monitor your diet. Eliminate all foods which are high in sugar and fat.

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Inspite of all these suggestions to help us all take the next step beyond confession, i know, most of us when wake up early morning, will probably throw them behind our backs and start the day with a frown, a creased forehead, and a loudspeaker fitted in our throats, eyes popping out, and even the neighbor’s dog getting disturbed by our behaviors. Just like we aim to make a better omelette, work better on our office projects, similarly we need to aim to improvise our moods, spirits and attitudes, as they have even much more priority than food and work.Nothing gets fixed overnight, give yourself some time! For me the greatest motivation to give up anger is the feelings of guilt afterwards. Find your motivational force which compels you to stay cool and calm. Our sentiments and their proper management will help us as an individual, an employee, a parent, a citizen, a national, a human being – as a whole!