Tag Archive | sacrifice

Brooks Dame – His story of overcoming of fears and sacrifice!

‘We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.’     –     Eleanor Roosevelt

How many of us are strong enough to combat our fears?Fears are deep-rooted and don’t let go easily, except when faced with courage and compassion.Our phobia’s and creeps crawl around like twining vines and surround us.Counting on courage we gradually overcome it. But, it is not that easy as it seems.

Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.’   –    Ralph Waldo Emerson

Brooks Dame was a student in high school,when a friend named Jessica was diagnosed with Lupus.Doctors helped her in coming back to life, which struck Brooks.He thought that maybe he could be of some help to similar people in need in one form or the other.It took time, to overcome Trypanophobia – his fear for needles.With some thinking and courage, finally he registered himself in bone marrow donation.

Credits:www.values.com

‘We must build dikes of courage to hold the flood of fear.’     –     Martin Luther King Jr.

After one year of waiting, he finally was informed that his bone marrow matched to a man in his 30’s, with wife and children, battling everyday with Leukemia.He felt compassion towards a man holding onto what seemed like a chance of survival….hope!He heard his desperate cry for help, his urge to live and desperate attempt to fight death gave him the sunshine which took him away from his fears into a bright world of fearlessness.

‘Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.’     –   Mark Twain

He took a few tests, and then in a hospital in Denver, he donated his bone marrow to save life!We can inculcate bravery by being strong and fearless.His phobia was the first hurdle, the complicated donation procedures and the immense pain another….but in the end – he emerged victorious!

‘Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.’    –   Mark Twain

Life is never easy on us, not because it loves to ache us, but because behind every good or bad in life, there is a purpose.Sometimes we can see it, sometimes we don’t, but sooner or later we get to know all the answers to ‘WHY’?.At times bearing pain makes us fearless of pain, sometimes bearing pain for others gives us the endurance for pain.Immense pain makes us painless, infact fearless.

‘Fear is an acronym in the English language for “False Evidence Appearing Real”.’   –   Neale Donald Walsch

We need to learn from life, instead of cursing it.Everything in life teaches us, improvises us, and strengthens us.We only need a realization, a sensitive heart and the strength to overcome fears.Most of the things in our lives remain unaccomplished because of these unneeded unnecessary fears.

‘Nothing in life is to be feared.It is only to be understood.’    –    Marie Curie

Credits:www.values.com

Another important factor is sacrifice.Those who can sacrifice for others can eradicate fear through compassion, just like those who can  eradicate fear for themselves through strength.Compassion is something which can always be developed in oneself, it is not inherited.It usually develops only when we face pain ourselves, then we start to relate to all those who have faced similar pain in life.Just like Brooks Dame was able to relate to all those in pain when his friend Jessica experienced it.It woke the compassion within, and he sacrificed for a stranger in pain and need by going through pain itself.Sacrifice is an emotion which is not easy to develop, infact i believe it sometimes surpasses the value of the good deed a sacrifice is given for.But sacrifice makes us humane and strong, because we realize that we can lead our lives even without the thing we sacrificed for others.

‘Fear is a darkroom where negatives are developed.’    –    Unknown

Let’s overcome our fears to achieve strength and compassion, let’s sprinkle it around us too…Foremost, let’s get rid of this  bundle of fears interrupting our affairs and make life easy and enjoyable.Only then we can experience life in it’s truest sense and make it worthwhile for others as well!

‘There are four ways you can handle fear.You can go over it, or around it.But if you are ever to put fear behind you, you must walk straight through it.Once you put fear behind you, leave it there.’    –    Donna A. Favors

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Salute to Mothers!

Mother – cannot be defined in words, i will still attempt…..Sacrifice, Patience, Unconditional Dedicated Purest Love, a Prayer and a rewarded Heaven in this World.The love of all the worlds combines into a Mother’s heart.

How i feel about My Mom…..makes me emotional already.Her prayers have always blessed and saved me from the tempest, whatever goodness i have within is hers, she sprinkled a bit on me from her posessions.Never in my life have i seen her wayward, vexed, skeptical.My whole life has been jittering to the beats of her love.She revolves around love, and my love revolves around her.She has been a homemaker all her life – yet her understanding and undertaking of social, economic, moral, situations is remarkable.Every mother has a wonderful fragrance, i believe it’s her love.She has been walking 20 minutes one way every day, in cold winters and hot summers to deliver me my lunch fresh and hot everyday our houseboy was in the market or busy elsewhere of my first few school years.Whenever i used to say that:’Mama, why do you tire yourself everyday?I have no problems with cold food in my lunch box’  she said: ‘…but i have’.Her belief and faith in God has strengthened mine, her love for cooking, baking,cleaning, orderliness inspired me. Now that she has raised her lot of kiddos, she is busy raising grandchildren and her garden of trees, plants, and pots.She never complains about life, she never looses hope,she fights for others rights, truth and justice.She has held on tightly to the foundations of her family, not by being a dictator but a lighthouse, a mentor, a guide.Her advises and wisdom has made me walk the path of life without taking chances and exploring risks.I am gaining nourishment for life from her, she forms the roots of my tree of life….sob,oh God i can go on forever…..LOVE YOU MUMA!She is back home, waiting anxiously for the grand union of her kids.Her heart is always with the ones who are far away.Missing her this mother’s day, a call or VC can never make up a hug and a kiss…

On Mother’s Day, i wanted to talk about a few issues related to mothers.I wonder what are the those burdensome, challenging times when a mother is forced to forsake her child.Which tribulations are those which she is unable to go through, and a mother rejects her own offspring?I can only imagine the agony a mother goes through, how she is tormented, but i can never feel it.A mothers tender heart can’t bear detachment from her child.But the cruel realities of life, poverty, financial conditions, homelessness, and urge for a better future for their kids, makes them kill their motherhood to keep their kids and their future alive.What a great sacrifice she gives, no other human in this world can think of it,but she alone undertakes it.We need equal opportunities of life in this world, where no mother is separated from her child, no child is raised in the absence of their loving mother, where hunger can never surpass love and emotions, where love and motherhood is not cheaper than living, or considered unimportant or low priority.

Then there are those who consider illegitimate child a dark side of their society.The child is shunned, banned and disapproved, not realizing that the parents who brought him/her in this world are the ones responsible for raising him.Such children are considered a taboo, and pushed out of the bounds of civic society.The mothers either leave their kids in deserted places or leave them at foster care centers, without will usually, due to pressures, and with great destitute.The rest of the child’s life is his punishment, he is made fun of,and considered inferior and disregarded.The emotional, educational and social upbringing of such a child is a huge challenge, and to make him a valid and equal part of the society is difficult.What more to it, that their mother’s crave for them forever, and seldom find them back, even if they do their kids blame them and reject them for leaving them to suffer all the years, alone.A motherhood is left devoid, and a mother – deprived forever.

Their are young mothers, who bear children at a very young age, and are unable to support them, as well as criticized widely by families and society.As a result, the kids are given away, or aborted.The trauma she undergoes and how nobody hear’s her deepest heart cry is unknown by others.

Abortion is another painful decision, a mother is forced into.No mother can kill the life within her, which belongs to her.It’s such a cruel world, and such cruel standards that life which exists within the parameters of it’s norms is allowed to survive,while life which doesn’t fit into these rules is left to die, or killed.To me, it’s murder, homicide rather.Mother Teresa raised her voice against this hideous act and crime:

“Any country that accepts abortion, is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what it wants.”   –   Mother Teresa

“It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish.”   –   Mother Teresa

Next, are the mothers who are taking care of many at the foster care centers, sacrificing attention meant for their kids in exchange of many children who are orphaned, and deprived of their share of love.They have a very big heart, because motherhood knows no boundaries,   sometimes it’s extremely selfish to protect it’s child, and at times extremely generous, as no other heart can feel the emotions of a young one than a mother.

Next, i want to honor the mothers, who are raising disabled, crippled, paralyzed, mentally unstable and diseased kids.It is nerve wrecking and heart drenching to see a part of your own physical self, unable to face life or moving on but unable to catch up with the pace of the world.They address their dependencies on daily basis .Their kids are sometimes called and mostly considered ‘invalids’ by many ignorant, who are unaware of  the hidden strength of these individuals and their mothers, with which they move on everyday, their heads held high.Some are competing with and hurling away mortality everyday from their children,whose small tender painful bodies are running out of life.The emotional plights are colossal, and the physical ardor too is unparalleled.How a mother gains strength and transfer it in her child to make him/her stronger each day is a miracle God blesses mothers with.

Mothers who are single parents also are extremely devoted, one of a kind individuals.Being a mother as well as  father demands efficacy, skills potential and strength.Single mothers are extremely devoted towards their kids, never leaving space for them to feel emptiness in their lives, their larger than life presence fills space everywhere and completely.A single mother’s love and commitment is two folds, and she inspite of loneliness, difficulties, without any help or aids of companionship, with sole ardent steers forward her life, and the life of her kids attatched with her’s.Kudos to such unque, extremely capable, unyielding mothers!
Widow mothers who don’t re-marry and selflessly commit their happiness, desires and wishes towards the sound upbringing of their children are remarkable too.Doing household chores, hectic jobs to earn a living,addressing the needs of their kids whether physical, mental or emotional, keeping social responsibilities and weaving together family ties is not a piece of cake.

Their are a few mothers, who adopt kids, from foster care, of mother’s who are deceased, orphans from within families, and also step kids and raise them as their own, with great compassion and love.Who says motherhood is a blood relation?A mothers orb of love is not unsubstantial or limited.She can encapsulate as many needy of love who desire to be encompassed by it.

Mothers who are raising their kids with chronic diseases and health issues are commendable.Going through pain each day,and not letting it spread around, rather radiating warmth and life is extra-ordinary, REAL compassion,letting go of our torment and melancholy for the happiness of our loved ones is not easy, hiding pain and gathering up strength to fight it each day is paramount.Bringing order in the lives of others, doing daily routine tasks to keep life smooth and running for the family is a magic,which only a mother knows.

Recent century has seen so many homemakers been sent away from homes into ‘Old Age Homes’ or ‘Retirement Homes’, and sometimes in ‘Nursing Homes’ too,especially those who are sick.Parents have been considered as ‘intervening privacy’, ‘hard to manage during illness’, ‘hindrance in social life’, ‘problems and embarrassment inviting friends over’ and sometimes ‘make us miserable’ is what we hear as excuses.What we forget is that it was us who made them miserable when we were little, we trialed their patience, made life tough for them, but they never uttered ill words, never considered us a problem, and instead of being thankful, for their perpetual parenting and motherhood, we reward them with loneliness, abandonment.We desert them and walk out  on them, those without whom we couldn’t walk.Their strong arms and hands caught us before we fell, they taught us how to walk, and we walkout on them.A sad spectacle indeed!Even after so much, they defend us, saying their kids were living in a different state, they had many complex hindrances in accommodating them in their houses, it was their own choice because they don’t wanna burden their kids…We can’t even thank them for a single night they spend staying awake for our comfort, and during our discomfort and sickness, and we in return to their explicit  affections, and undivided attention, give them anguish, disregard, Those who didn’t turn their backs towards us are being ignored and neglected.The caretakers of life, are being left on their own by life itself.

They don’t want to create inconvenience for us.Their age, health, relationship,concern and love demands and deserves respect, honor,    regard, tender embraces, lovable kisses, time, attention, importance.Motherly love is incomparable, but we can show them that they mean alot to us,we will never let them go through pain or suffering alone.Being parents and mothers, they will never feel like childless ever.We will hold onto their hands, just like they did during dentist visits or doctor checkups.We will give them utmost comfort and fond affection, which is what they deserve, infact quite insufficient to what they deserve.We need to cherish this heavenly love, and relationship God blessed us with.No job commitment, family problems, geographical constraints are valid enough to leave this commitment unfulfilled.Leave everything, because you may find it again, but a mother can never be reborn.Our priorities have changed from relationships, emotions, feelings,to entertainment, socializing, relaxation, money-making, luxury hunting.We can never honor life without honouring the personality responsible for bringing us to life, and those who don’t honor life, life never honors them.The eyes which we have been seeking in crowds to gain confidence and strength now seek our rumination.Don’t let them give up hope, don’t give them wounds in these later years of their lives which will never heal.Hold them tightly close to your hearts and whisper softly:”Mama, i salute you and all the mothers of the world!You make us proud, you are our pride, we exist in your existence, our breaths and heartbeats are yours, we can feel the longing within you, we are here, forever, we will never leave you.You are the sunlight, which nurtures us, has been nurturing us.Now…we will create ease in your lives…WE LOVE YOU”…..go ahead say it to your moms, they are the beauty of this world, don’t ruin it, enhance it, and treasure it!

And finally…the mother’s who have left us, just as they are sleeping peacefully in their last abodes, their love has made it’s eternal abode within us, around us, everywhere.We are proud to have been theirs, and proud having them our’s.Hang on moms, we will surely meet!

Imagination and Dreams – NOT a fool’s paradise!

“It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.”   Bob Goddard 

What wonderful moments in time were the ones which were painted with the fabricated “Goody-goody” fairylike stories of life and the set of neat rules to lead it, which our older generations had told us.That: Life is easy as a pie – say no evil, do no evil, hear no evil, follow truth, honesty, generosity, justice, sacrifice, honor, faith….If so, it equates to a world with righteousness, peace, tranquility, humanity, colors, flowers, butterflies, rainbows in short beauty!The storybooks seemed so real, we believed that we had acquired some sort of magical potion to control life, and anything that’s in it.Cartoon characters were so full of life, genuine, as if we’ll reach out and catch them, and transform into them.We believed in the fantasies of the books and the screenplays and we believed in our own vivid imagination which was being woven with the most placid of all emotions and thoughts.For us, life was a picture perfect!

Credits:Robert Proksa @http://www.getpersonas.com/pl/gallery/Designer/fangol

Our eyes had never seen the harsh realities of life.We though of ways to climb the rainbow, jump on the clouds, discover the magical lands in our closets, and riding the old brooms in our houses hoping they might start flying lolz….Actual life, although poles apart, seems far more unattractive, strenuous, difficult.We were raised on the verge of hope, of a beautiful world far and beyond what older generations could create for us, but what they wished for.Our generations, sat crying out loud on their failure, and in return failed ourselves in doing the same.Now we don’t even have the time to sit back and dream because we have filled our lives with hustle bustle and immense efforts to survive.They transfered their dreams and visions to us, which we considered burdens – a punching bag.We are literally beyond bounds taking a shot at them every now and then,but the disappointment outraged.As a result, there are shattered dreams, low morale, and hopeless eyes, and no sense of direction.

Paoulo Coelho is no doubt one of my most favourite authors, because he sows the seeds of optimism.In his book The Alchemist, his bestseller and highly recommended by me if there are any who haven’t read it, he states:

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

The main charter of his book Santiago, a shepherd boy does so by going on a journey of his dreams.

We often choose not to dream at all, because we can’t bear to see them crumble, or because we lack the will to make them real.We let hopelessness haunt us.When we are young, we don’t know what dreams are, we just have imaginations, power to create images in our minds.When we saw a dream, we used to ask:”Mama, when did this happen?Why do i know it?”, and she used to say:”Honey, don’t worry, it was just a dream”.With the passage of time, our imagination drew colorful fancy images, which seemed fit to tie all up into a dream.As we grew older, the impressions of our dreams grew stronger, and so did the need to transform them.But some of us buried them deep within us, while some lost courage and hope to follow them, and let go.For some it was impossible to achive them in todays times.

In my childhood, i had a stationary box, with images from Disney’s “The Little Match Girl”, which is adapted from Hans Christian Andersen‘s story The Little Match Girl.The girl holding the matchsticks in her hand,with colorful flashes of light all around, and the colors and shine of which had all gathered in her eyes.She was beaming all over, with an aura of her dreams, which she still dare to dream in the darkest hours of her ending life.There was no impression of death, only the beauty of her sweet dreams.The color of one’s dreams can’t be more perfect, subtle, intense and spirited.In her eyes one could see the ultimate longing of her desires.While facing my academic endeavors, one look of her raised my enthusiasm.

William Arthur Ward, an American motivational and inspirational writer said a beautiful thing, which is so true:

“Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing.”

He also said:

“Nothing limits achievement like small thinking; nothing expands possibilities like unleashed imagination.”

Similarly, in life, we need motivation.Charlie Chaplin, the famous comedian of the silent movies era, spent his life on streets after his mother’s illness and his father’s death. As a tribute to his works, his statues are placed in London, and Switzerland where he is buried.He faced the troubles of his life and still kept his dream alive of  becominga comic actor.With only miseries to experience, and laughter to sell, he once told about his dream during those distressing times:

“Even when i was in the orphanage, when i was roaming the streets trying to find enough to eat, even then i thought of myself as the greatest actor in the world.”

Credits: Philip MacKenzie@http://www.photoshowcase.co.uk/

Credits: Philip MacKenzie @http://www.photoshowcase.co.uk/

However, no one can dream without paying its price.Dreams when turned true need a bitter price to be payed, sometimes with sweat and sometimes with blood.With every dream comes a sacrifice, but it should not come in the way of dreaming, because the fruit dreams bear are reaped for generation and generations.Martin Luther King Jr. made a revolutionary speech called “I have a dream”, in which he stated his dreams for his people, America, and humanity.He gave up his life, but the whole world saw the fulffilment of his dreams and how they transformed us all as exalted human beings, with a broader sense of equality and justice for mankind.Similarly, sometimes we have to work till the last drop of sweat in order to accomplish our dreams, they have to be achieved as honor, no one gets them accomplished in charity.

The dilemma of todays human is that he/she has ceased dreaming, and has given up on achieving them.Life is just a rat race, following the same ‘ol routine EVERYDAY!We have created a world which suffocates us, we need to work everyday in order to carve in space for us, and it leaves us no time to carry out our ambitions because we are fighting for survival every moment.We have certainly raised the bar of our life’s standards, but in the process we have left our dreams so far behind on this road to progress and existence, that we can hardly see them.What’s important is to dream, whether of the past or future as per Bob Goddard sayings, because our past always motivates us to do more and inspires us, to be what we couldn’t be, and the future promises hope of the times to come, of what we can become.
Here is a peom by Eugene Field called The Dreams, it’s one of my favourites, read it and you’ll be transported into the land of your own times when you used to dream:

Two dreams came down to earth one night
From the realm of mist and dew;
One was a dream of the old, old days,
And one was a dream of the new.

One was a dream of a shady lane
That led to the pickerel pond
Where the willows and rushes bowed themselves
To the brown old hills beyond.

And the people that peopled the old-time dream
Were pleasant and fair to see,
And the dreamer he walked with them again
As often of old walked he.

Oh, cool was the wind in the shady lane
That tangled his curly hair!
Oh, sweet was the music the robins made
To the springtime everywhere!

Was it the dew the dream had brought
From yonder midnight skies,
Or was it tears from the dear, dead years
That lay in the dreamer’s eyes?

The other dream ran fast and free,
As the moon benignly shed
Her golden grace on the smiling face
In the little trundle-bed.

For ‘t was a dream of times to come–
Of the glorious noon of day–
Of the summer that follows the careless spring
When the child is done with play.

And ‘t was a dream of the busy world
Where valorous deeds are done;
Of battles fought in the cause of right,
And of victories nobly won.

It breathed no breath of the dear old home
And the quiet joys of youth;
It gave no glimpse of the good old friends
Or the old-time faith and truth.

But ‘t was a dream of youthful hopes,
And fast and free it ran,
And it told to a little sleeping child
Of a boy become a man!

These were the dreams that came one night
To earth from yonder sky;
These were the dreams two dreamers dreamed–
My little boy and I.

And in our hearts my boy and I
Were glad that it was so;
He loved to dream of days to come,
And I of long ago.

So from our dreams my boy and I
Unwillingly awoke,
But neither of his precious dream
Unto the other spoke.

Yet of the love we bore those dreams
Gave each his tender sign;
For there was triumph in his eyes–
And there were tears in mine!

Dreams are magical, they transport us to a place of their own, which is unique.Somewhere inside each of us is a desire to experience the dreams but we are reluctant.Let’s give up money-making for a day or two, lets forget about our status in this world, let go of our apprehensions and pack our bags to embark on the journey of our dreams, the paths we will follow will release us from our miseries, let’s show compassion towards ourselves sometimes, so that we are not answerable to our souls for enchaining them for so long, depriving them of what them could have become.
Our generations now have to teach the future generations the art to dream which is long lost.The pleasures that dreams give us, and the personal satisfaction we obtain while we are on our way to achieve them is matchless.No bank balance or heaps of property which every individual is after can replace it.It will be better if we accomplish our dreams to set an example for them, by making the world suitable for them to dream in.They should not carry the burdens of our incomplete unfulfilled dreams which aches and discourages them.We have no more excuses to calm them with.We cannot face them with the empty dreams we have, we need to build them brick by brick, as well as the dreams of generations before us, so that they move ahead with no stress to bear, into a world made worth living in with the power of our dreams and our ancestors.Let’s prove that we CAN build castles in the air, we CAN dream!

Here is a beautiful inspiration of a song, by a wonderful favorite band ABBA, called “I have a dream“…….let’s sink deep in to the beautiful melody and the revived will to dream: